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Basketball

May The Force Be With Us: Every Timberwolves Player and Their Star Wars Character

A long time ago…
In a galaxy far, far, away…

Clan Timberwolves of the planet North are in the playoff hunt for the first time in over a decade but still haven’t reached their potential. Sitting behind the powerhouse planets of San
Antonio and Golden State, while also dealing with the dangerous clans of the Rockets and Trail
Blazers, it has been difficult for clan T-Wolves to get ahead and build momentum.

Needless to say, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

To take down some of the superpowers of the galaxy the young Timberwolves are in need of
some new leaders and some proven heroes. The young stars have proven to be talented and oozing with potential, but that isn’t quite enough. Will clan Timberwolves find what they need to lead the galaxy?

The Young Stars

Karl-Anthony Towns = Rey

So if Rey is the (New) New Hope and The Last Jedi… Does that make KAT the new Big
Ticket? This I do know not, but I do know both Rey and KAT are this galaxy’s greatest hope. Karl-Anthony Towns, like Rey, is one of the greatest young talents in the universe, but also like Rey, KAT needs mentoring and direction. According to a survey by NBA.com KAT is the number one choice by NBA GM’s to build a franchise around. That doesn’t mean he still doesn’t suck or need help around him, because he does. Look at someone like Anthony Davis, which just a few short years ago was the GM’s pic to build a franchise around, but clan Pelican has virtually wasted his prime. One place KAT needs mentoring is defense, just like Rey needs help controlling her powers. If you’re still not convinced of KAT’s ineptness on defense, take a look at these numbers. There is a mentor on the rise though…

Andrew Wiggins = Poe Dameron

I know what you are thinking. Why isn’t Andrew Wiggins Finn if KAT is Rey? While I do
agree that Finn is a huge part of Star Wars like Andrew Wiggins is to the Timberwolves, there is
also something that you are not thinking about. Finn is a little bitch. Also the fact that Poe Dameron is known as a “trigger-happy flyboy” makes Poe and Wig a perfect
fit.

Wiggins has a lot of the same troubles that KAT does; not able to control their pace of
the game, can’t play defense for long stretches of time and doesn’t have patience in their
game. A lot like their Star War counterparts, Rey and Poe.

SPOILER ALERT BELOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST JEDI

In The Last Jedi, Poe takes on an entire fleet of star destroyers virtually by himself. Just stupid in my opinion, but it almost works out. He takes out the fleet’s largest ship, lets the rebel
fleet move out of the planet they were trapped on and looks like a complete badass doing it.
One thing he didn’t account for though is his losses when doing this mission. He loses countless
troops and all of his bombers. Not ideal and not a winning combination in the long run.
Though Wiggins has firepower in certain circumstances and can win games for the Timberwolves on his own, some of his actions do not lead to an ideal winning environment in
the North.

The Droids

Aaron Brooks = BB-8

He’s goofy, not always in control of his body and thinks he is more important than R2-
D2. Reality check BB-8, you’re just here to sell toys and are the third most important
droid. Though Aaron Brooks probably isn’t selling a lot of toys for the Timberwolves, he really
isn’t that important and thinks he deserves more minutes than Tyus. Nah bud, sit your ass on
the bench.

Tyus Jones = R2-D2

R2-D2 is one of the first things that people think of when thinking about Star Wars. He is
in all of the movies, squeals a bunch, and is an all-around fan favorite. Tyus Jones does more
yelling, but other than that, Jones is a perfect match for R2.
Minnesota’s boy who broke our hearts and went to Duke, but was welcomed back with
opened arms when drafted by the T-Wolves. He is loved by everyone, comes in every game,
and really wakes up when he plays with the starting unit (kinda like R2 with the Skywalkers…
Hmm).

Shabazz Muhammad = C-3PO

The last droid is that annoying, know-it- all, human-minded, Skywalker created droid that
we all know, C-3PO. He is mechanical and when he is in a scene in the movies, everyone knows
what they will get from him, it, whatever it is, but he still provides a good amount of
information and importance to the storyline.
Much like the presence of Shabazz Muhammad. Muhammad is hard-driving, high
scoring alternative that if featured could be a valuable asset for a team, but at this point in his
career he is just a change-of- pace three that comes in to give the T-Wolves what they expect, a
couple buckets and a couple rebounds. Much like C-3PO in the new movies though, Bazz just
hasn’t quite found his place on this team.

The Supporting Cast

Taj Gibson = Chewbacca

This isn’t just because Gibson’s bald head somehow works perfectly with Chewy’s
beautiful flow, no, it is because of both of their intangibles.
When thinking about both of these important figures the first things that come to mind
are grit, strength, durability, and adaptability. This combination was really the easiest to come
up with. It just so happens that both of these characters have much of the same impact on their
respective parties. Also, much like Chewy with Rey in the new movies, Gibson has been able to flourish, change, and develop his game like he never has before with the spacing and inside
presence that KAT gives the T-Wolves.

Jamal Crawford = Leia Organa

Another new addition Crawford has also had an impact on the T-Wolves game. Crawford
is another person that gives the Timberwolves consistency and support when he comes into the
game. Much like Princess Leia when she is in the new movies. Leia isn’t one of the main
characters anymore, but she is a well-known face that gives support and wisdom when needed
to the new young cast. Crawford comes in and controls the pace of the game and helps develop
the younger players games, which as the movies show with Leia and Poe, is very important to
the well-being of the team.

Anthony Brown = Master Codebreaker

WHO IS THIS GUY??????

Marcus Georges-Hunt = Admiral Ackbar

Another question mark, but this is more because of who they were supposed to be.
Marcus Georges-Hunt was a very good college guard with lots of potential, that just never really
found his niche within the NBA system and has landed on the T-Wolves roster.
Admiral Ackbar is someone that supposedly means a lot to the rebels and has a lot of
potential to be an important character, but it just doesn’t really pans out. SPOILER ALERT.
Hopefully Marcus Georges-Hunt doesn’t die soon like Admiral Ackbar did in the last movie. “IT’S
A TRAP, IT’S A TRAP.” No shit Ackbar maybe you shouldn’t bring your ENTIRE REBEL FLEET
everywhere you go. *Facepalm

Nemanja Bjelica = Finn

The long-awaited question… Who is Finn? Is finally answered. Yep, it is Bjeli. Didn’t
expect that did yeah. Kind of going back to the bitch point, Bjeli could be such an important
player if he just nuts up and dunks on someone, but he just can’t quite put it together. Even
with this downside, Bjeli is still the best three-point shooter on the team and really gives the T-
Wolves the important advantage of spreading the floor when he is in there.

This is just like the only reason Finn is relevant is because of his knowledge of The First
Order. Because of this knowledge, especially in the second movie, Finn is able to make the First
Order worry about him in certain instances more than about destroying the rebellion, spreading
them out.
Hmm, quite the comparison I know, shower your praise on me, or, of course, destroy
me in the comments section.
Either way Bjeli and Finn are maybe the power-couple comparison of the year.

Gorgui Dieng = Rose Tico

Rose is a new character that brings grit and determination to the movies. She comes
from a planet where she was not the best off and was a longshot to make it into the rebellion,
but she did it. You see where I’m going with this.
Gorgui Dieng had just as much of a rough time and was just as much of a longshot to
make it to the NBA. Coming from Senegal Dieng knows a little bit about grit and determination
with his journey to the NBA. Not only Rose and Dieng’s journey to where they are, are similar,
but also who they now do it with. Rose and Finn are now partners, such as Bjeli and Dieng. Both of these partners play off of each other well and work well together.

Justin Patton: Maz Kanata

Maz Kanata is a little-known character that everyone knows one day will make a huge
impact on the movies in some way. Much like the newest rookie for the T-Wolves. There isn’t
much known about Justin Patton, he is a stretch 7-footer that could have a huge impact on the
Timberwolves, but one thing that is certain is that everyone is excited to see what he can do.
Much like what Kanata will bring to the storyline in future movies.

Cole Aldrich = DJ

The final Supporter comes in the form of someone who the fans of the Timberwolves
don’t really know much about, Cole Aldrich. The team doesn’t really want to trust him with a lot
of minutes, because he could destroy everything that the team has been working for, but he
could also be a huge help. With his 7-foot frame, his willingness to defend, and his surprising
touch around the rim, Aldrich has the potential to be very helpful, but because of his
unreliability and his inconsistency he is only a last option.
Well Finn and Rose had to use their last option on a new character called “DJ” (no not
your 2k character, a career thief who they met in a prison [seems safe]). SPOILER ALERT.
Trusting DJ did not work out for Finn and Rose. Just like it probably wouldn’t work out to trust
Aldrich with more minutes.

The New Heros

Jeff Teague = Vice Admiral Holdo

Here you go clan Timberwolves, here is your new leader, Jeff Teague. Having previous
playoff and regular season success, much like Vice Admiral Holdo’s success is previous battles,
has given the T-Wolves a calm and steady presence at the helm. Teague, much like Holdo, are
also incredibly gifted leaders with a plan. Holdo with her wisdom and decision making to mold
characters like Poe. Teague with his passing and leadership; hopefully to mold a player like
Andrew Wiggins.

Both of these people stepped up when they were called upon and made decisions to
make their teams and situations better. Vice Admiral Holdo saved the entire rebel fleet with her
plans. While Teague has had his best numbers in three-point percentage and assists per game
leading the offense to the 6 th best offensive rating in the galazy.

Jimmy Butler = Luke Skywalker

The player to save the clan. This is what was thought before the season, and Jimmy
Butler has only made this more clear. Butler is by far the most competent defender and works
on offense efficiently and effectively. Even though Butler isn’t quite the hero that Luke
Skywalker is, he is still a perennial all-star and a top 5 two-way player in the league. Without
him the T-Wolves would be destined for another year without the playoffs.
Hopefully Butler takes a little more pride then Skywalker does when developing his
teammates, because if Butler just tells Wiggins and KAT that the way they become great leaders
and basketball players is to go sit on a rock, yeah that’s not going to work. Hopefully he teaches
them more about defense, because that seems just as elusive to them as The Force does.
Hopefully he lasts a little longer than Skywalker does in this new trilogy. Either way both
galaxies need them…

Tom Thibodeau = Yoda

Thibodeau is becoming more and more of a controversial figure. If you have been blind
to some of the reasons why, here’s a Rundown. Thib’s methods might be a little out of date,
and the way he is doling out minutes is definitely not ideal. He is still the leader of the T-
Wolves, and he knows how to get the best out of the T-Wolves Luke Skywalker, Butler. Much

like Yoda, he may be like 3,000,000,000,000 years old, but the dude knows stuff. He also was
Skywalker’s mentor, which proved to be huge in The Last Jedi.
Thibodeau’s leash is starting to shorten, but if he continues to get the best out of Butler
and this offense, and hopefully improves the defense, this team still has the potential to be a
contender. Of course, clan T-Wolves players will need to step up for the rest of the season. It is
important that there is improvement from KAT, Wig, and guys like Bjeli. PLEASE CUT DOWN ON THE STARTERS MINUTES THOUGH.

The Bad Guys

Lebron James: Snoke

This dude sits on the throne for a reason. He is the most powerful person in the galaxy,
and if not stopped will take over that galaxy. Both of these explanations are true for Lebron
James and Snoke.

Cavs Supporting Cast = Imperial Royal Guard

As the movies show, the Imperial Royal Guard is badass, but they really aren’t much
without their leader Snoke. Much like the Cavs. Lebron’s supporting cast look really good on
paper, but without Lebron they would probably win 3 games all year, somehow.

Steph Curry = Kylo Ren

Update, Kylo Ren does not like Snoke. The crazy part? He actually did something about
it, SPOILER ALERT. (At this point this whole article in a spoiler alert) Kylo Ren kills Snoke,
probably, because honestly we still have no idea who Snoke is so he’ll probably come back and
fuck everything up. You probably have an idea why Curry is KR now, yep he beat Lebron in the
Finals and now is the king.

Kevin Durant = General Hux

Trouble in paradise, this next movie is going to have some great dialogue between
General Hux and Kylo Ren, and I am very excited about that. These dudes do not like each
other, but they both love being on top. Now I am not saying that Kevin Durant and Curry don’t
like each other, but there is only one ball, so I mean… Anyway, they are on top of the world
right now and it is going to take a lot to bring them down.

Draymond Green = Captain Phasma

Draymond like Captain Phasma is the muscle behind the bad guys. He’s going to do the
dirty work down low to get what needs to get done, done.

May The Force Be With Us

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