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Bachelorette Power Rankings—Week 7

The Bachelorette

It’s official virgin week here at bachelorette nation. So, go out, say hello to your local virgin, and appreciate them. Happy virgin week.

Let’s find out why.

Date 1: Yacht ride, Colton

Date Grade: B- Competitor Grade: B+

BECCA HAS GOT SOME CAKE. We all needed to see that. Real question is, when can I cop that white cut-up t-shirt the yellow boat guy was rocking?? Next point: did ABC really have to do that to Colton? Making him take the “Bahama’s Viagra” on the night he’s going to tell Becca he’s a virgin. Damn.

I mean we all knew this was coming (though Colton wasn’t), but what I wasn’t expecting was all of the guys just ragging on the dude. Just think if Jordan would have gotten ahold of that info, that would have been some wild content. Anyway, I say good for Colton and I respect his decision, and so did Becca. So, it worked out for him in the end… Even though he’s probably going to leave her for Tia anyway.

Date 2: Airplane ride, Garrett

Date Grade: A Competitor Grade: C+

Drinking champagne flying over the Bahamas would probably be the coolest thing anyone has ever done, so props to ABC for this date. Drinking game for this date: every time Garrett says “down and discouraged” take a shot, that would make for a wild night. Last note on this date is they had a reasonably awkward make-out sesh on the beach. Garrett’s hand placement was weird, but I mean they were still going for it so good for him I guess.

Finally, Garrett went for the soft L (saying he’s falling in love with her). Which is what Becca has wanted from him for a while. Good Date and Garrett did what he needed to do to keep the relationship moving.

Date 3: Beach Party, Blake

Date Grade: C- Competitor Grade: A+

Blake definitely got the shrot end of the stick with this date, but he absolutely killed it. WHERE DID HE GET THOSE GROOVES?? His dancing came absolutely out of nowhere.

The next huge thing was BECCA DROPPED AN ARIE BOMB. That was by far the biggest surprise of the season so far. Becca really said that she sympathized with Arie, which is sooo wild.

Finally, the meat of this date came at the end. Blake opened up about his past with his family, which should open up a very interesting storyline for next week. And then Blake broke probably the most romantic line of the season so far, “Falling in love is fun, but staying in love would be even more fun. Becca I am in love with you.” Damn, he really dropped the hard L on her. Good for him though, helluva line and helluva performance. Huge stock riser this week.

Date 3: J Chillin in the Bahamas, 3-on-1

Participants: Wills, Leo, and Jason

Date Grade: C+ Rose: Jason

How many times do you think they had to tape the very beginning when they were all walking up the pier almost perfectly spaced. Anyway, the volleyball thing was fun. I really wanted to see Leo just absolutely murk everyone and spike it into Jason’s face or something. Just alpha everyone. Didn’t happen but it was still a cool date.

Once again, they gave Leo the 2-on-1 treatment of just leaving him in a random part of the island alone. If there was any guy that is going to make it out alive in that situation it would be Leo though. He probably wouldn’t just make it out alive, but somehow take over the country or something, just a power player.

Jason did just enough to pull out the W over Wills. Then, unfortunately we saw the first true heartbreak of the show from our boi Wills.

Anyway, let’s do the damn thing.

Who’s Gone:

Leo: I think his end was definitely a call on the producers to get this guy to become the bachelor. Power move, we will see if it happens. Anyway, unfortunately my boi went home this week, which was something I think we all saw coming. See you, at least, in Paradise.

Wills: First I want to start out with the “Wills fit of the week” this is something I should have started at the beginning of the show, but this week, it was the cheetah romper. I don’t know if anyone else could pull off a look like this, but Wills killed it. Anyway, Wills got it dirty, he was really here for the right reasons and I think he truly was falling for Becca. Unfortunately, her and Jason’s relationship was just a little stronger. See you in Paradise Wills.

Power Rankings:

4. Jason (↓1)

Becca definitely showed Jason that she still has some questions about their relationship, and unfortunately, I think those questions will become even harder to answer for both of them next week and he may be going home. Also, Jason’s mom seems wild. His hometown might be the most entertaining.

3. Colton (↓1)

Knows how to work that conk. Maybe? Probably not. Anyway, Tia is def about to drop some knowledge about this guy, and we have all been waiting for this moment. Hella drama on the way next week.

2. Garrett (↓1)

Total dad bod, so you love to see that. Also, you love to see that he’s a farmer. Just making me like the guy that much more. More big moves coming from him next week. Also, I know exactly how his hometown is going to go, because I obviously come from a farm family, so this is going to be VERY interesting.

1. Blake (↑3)

 Blake killed the date, but his collar game? WTF, how can anyone in this day and age button the top button??? That might be the most trash move I’ve ever seen. Huge red flag right there. Saying that, Becca is loving him, and he has gone back from last place to first once again, good for him. Look for him to continue his up and down performance.

See you next week.

SKOL VIKES

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