It is hometowns ladies and gents. These next two week, between hometowns and fantasy suites are some of the most high pressure times of the games. I mean really, what is worse? Breaking up with a girl after you meet their parents or sleeping with them? Hmm, not sure, either way these contestants are in for a wild ride.
This week had many twists and turns, the curse of #2 in the power rankings was lifted, and Lauren is still here.
Let’s get into it.
Hometown 1: Taxidermy Trip and dinner with the fam, Kendall.
Date Grade: A Competitor Grade: C-
Picture this, you’ve been taking this girl out from Bumble and she’s mentioned taxidermy a couple of times on your dates, but you haven’t really noticed. Then, you go to meet her parents and the first thing she takes you to IS A FREAKING TAXIDERMY SHOW AND YOU GUYS FAKE KISS DEAD RATS. That was Kendall’s hometown, but surprisingly, it worked, because it is Kendall. Kendall is the only person on the face of this earth that could have gotten away with that.
Embrace debate: Kendall or Kendall’s twin sister?? I guess it’s just a snacky family, because Kendall’s sister was SMOKING. It looks like Kendall’s sister isn’t the one that needs the love though, as Kendall got involved on twitter to try and find her brother a date: https://twitter.com/KendallPatrice/status/965805789561503744. It seemed to work to as there were 18 replies, all coming from strapping young women. Hey maybe we will see the whole squad on Bachelor in Paradise??? I don’t know, just a thought.
On a real though, Kendall’s mom was the only one not to give a “blessing,” but that was because Arie didn’t ask… Interesting. Anyway, Kendall needs to figure out her feelings fast for Arie, or fantasy suites will be the last time we see her on this show.
Date 2: Dirt Track Racing and Dinner, Tia
Date Grade: A+ Competitor Grade: A-
This date was awesome. The producers perfectly set Tia up to win Arie’s heart (RIP) with this racing based date. Of course, once again, the producers went over Southern and not only did the dirt track thing which was fine, but also did the stupid like pigs-in-a-blanket and other super Southern things. That, is getting very annoying, but Tia put her heart on the line in this date and really went for it.
In all aspect, in my opinion, this was the best date. Tia enjoyed herself, Arie loved it, and Tia’s family seemed to like Arie the best. All of this combined makes the ending of this episode even more confusing.
Date 3: Apple Orchard and Dinner, Becca K.
Date Grade: B+ Competitor Grade: A
Becca comes in with, once again, the best competitor grade of the week. This is mostly in part because of her extremely consistent and strong performance. She built off of her one-on-one from last week and kicked ass again this week. Her very Minnesotan date was perfect, I loved the apple orchard and the feel of the whole thing. Her family was very spectacle and reminded me of every Minnesotan family ever.
Date 4: Riding Horse on the Beach and Sweating at Dinner, Lauren B.
Date Grade: F- Competitor Grade: F–
HOLY SHIT THEY DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS TIME. Kinda, instead of riding bikes they were riding horses. SPOILER ALERT. Next week Lauren will be riding something else… (Fantasy Suite Time). So yeah a lot of riding in this relationship. Which works, because it takes away from the fact the Lauren SUCKS. If I were gambling on how many words Lauren would say, I would set the over/under at 7.5. I would also gamble on how times Lauren would say “Wow,” 5.5. So that leaves two words left: Hello and Daddy? I don’t know, just a guess.
Speaking of dads, how many of you guys were hoping that Lauren’s dad would choke slam Arie? Just me? Okay, fine, but Lauren’s family sucks too. So, yeah, I don’t know why she is still here.
Tia: RIP. I don’t know, I don’t have much here. Arie you F’d man. Lauren over Tia? Really?
Lauren B. (↔)
The “She Sucks” Award goes to Lauren B. Honestly I’m in the boat that she will probably win it all at this point.
Not a great performance this week. She is playing it real, and I respect that, but that’s not going to get it done in the fake love world. Somebody better get in there and coach her up if she’s going to make it through fantasy suites.
Becca K. (↑1)
She keeps moving up, and now owns the top spot in this week’s rankings. Hell of an accomplishment. Minnesota Strong. Look for her to keep up the pace next week.