It’s the best time of the year, two-on-one time. This idea, which is practically every man’s fantasy, creates the greatest shit shows in television history. This season’s was no exception, but we will get into that later. This week was headlined by the two-on-one, but there were other very important needle mover things that happened and all in the “city of love,” Paris.
Here we go.
Date 1: Tourist trip in Paris, Lauren B.
Date Grade: B Competitor Grade: B
Wow, lots of B’s for Lauren B. Which makes sense because she is very average. Wow, just look at every answer to anything that Arie said: Wow *cue Owen Wilson voice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl put in so little effort and get so far with a guy. I think she said about 5 words, before Arie dropped a bomb: he almost had a kid??? Well anyway, Lauren B. came back with an exhilarating conversation about how she is afraid of commitment. Nice, way to be really authentic there. Anyway This date didn’t do much for me, but Arie seemed to enjoy it, so that is why Lauren B. received a B.
Date 2: Dancing to Moulin Rouge, Group Date
Date Grade: A-
Rose: Bekah M.
Well, now that we are sure that Bekah M. is not a missing person, she can continue with her bachelor career. Her first step? Become a dancer. Bekah wow’d Arie with her moves and her personality and won the group rose getting to dance on stage with the lip-synching Arie. Well-done Bekah.
Date 3: The Eiffel Tower, Two-on-one–Kendall and Krystal
Date Grade: A
I think the best part of this date was before it even happened, and Krystal knew that she was going to be a part of it. “I wonder who will be on the two-on-one with me,” she raves. “Can we talk about how much, like, Kendall was shitting her pants?” Krystal said after finding out that her date was with Kendall. Which is funny, because I think we all had a pretty good idea that she was going home. Anyway, she did. After Krystal saying Kendall was “not ready for marriage”, an awesome heart-to-heart conversation with Kendall showing her humanity, and then Arie delaying his decision until that night, Krystal slowly saw what was coming. Through it all Kendall proved that she is a full on power player.
Date 4: Shopping and Dinner, Jacqueline
Date Grade: C+ Competitor Grade: A+
SNACK ALERT. It’s official, Jacqueline is my snack of the year, and this snack has turned herself from a small bag of fruit snacks to a full on Thanksgiving feast in just two weeks. Seriously. Where did this girl come from??? She played this date perfect, a little hard-to-get with the whole PHD-six-years-of-college-thing, yeah great move. It seemed to really turn on Arie, and all of the sudden this girl is a power player.
Krystal: Sad to see her go, but love to watch her leave. She was the drama of the show so far which makes her hard to let go, but she was SUCH A BITCH. So, and like, hopefully, and like, she, and like, gets over her, and like, insecurities. Anyway:
Chelsea: WOAH, WHAT??? This one still has me shook. Just last week I had her as #2 on the power rankings and now she is gone?? Yeah, I don’t know what happened. But it’s fine, everything’s fine. Anyway, I hope she finds an actual boyfriend before the producers come calling to her about being a possible bachelorette.
Jenna: She was crazy and looked like Michael Jackson. So I don’t have much for her.
Becca K. (↔)
Becca K. checks in at the bottom spot, because she did absolutely nothing and somehow stole a rose from Chelsea. Expect for her to still be completely average. Side note, this is our Minnesota girl, so I am actually rooting for her.
Sienna said, “I’m really happy to be in Paris with you” in French, which is pretty baller and gives her the slight edge over Becca. Expect for her to either have a big week or go home.
Lauren B. (↔)
One of the big movers from the week before has the potential to have another big week with a one-on-one and doesn’t quite hit it home. The producers seem to love this girl, which is good news for her (especially after the after the rose ceremony breakdown). Expect for her to have another big week.
Tia didn’t do much to move her needle with Arie this week, but she did swear a bunch on camera which was pretty funny. So, I mean, we win right? Tia needs to make a move next week to stay relevant.
The top of this field is getting crowded. I still feel that Kendall and Arie are a perfect match for each other, and Arie is starting to feel the same way after sending Krystal home for Kendall. Also Kendall fortified herself as a power player by winning the two-on-one with a true Alpha. Keep making moves Kendall.
The “Snack of the Year” is making moves, and is all of the sudden challenging Bekah for the crown. Watch out she’s in this to win this thing. Side note, I bet Jacqueline’s Instagram follower count rose substantially this week. Anyway, look for Jacqueline to fall off slightly this week as it will be hard to follow-up the last two weeks.
She won the group rose and continues to dominate the field. She may be feeling a little bit of pressure as was shown with her conversation with Arie when she said she was feeling a little jealous of other girls. Don’t worry though there is still a little gap between her and the rest of the competition. Look for her to reassert full-control this next week.